Pam is recovering strongly. She will soon be moving down to Florida to complete her rehab and be with her sister. She will be getting some much needed R&R (rest and rehab) just in time for the football season. We will make sure she gets the expanded cable to get all the games.
The Doofus Brothers ventured up to Maine It’s been some difficult times in the Doofus family these last three weeks. The Mother of all Doofusses was hospitalized recently. The Doofus brothers made it up to Maine to be by her bedside and keep her spirits up. At night we gathered on Pete’s deck to rehash old family stories. Cousin Robin came up from Connecticut, stopped at the discount liquor place in New Hampshire and then made sure we had plenty of Captain and Cokes to keep the conversation flowing. As the nights wore on the stories got better and funnier. Amazingly, the most hilarious stories were largely grounded in fact.
Pam is recovering strongly. She will soon be moving down to Florida to complete her rehab and be with her sister. She will be getting some much needed R&R (rest and rehab) just in time for the football season. We will make sure she gets the expanded cable to get all the games.
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The Devil came down to Georgia The Devil made a small stop in Georgia last night as we gathered to knock back some of his fiendish brew. Add in some cigars and the trip to our ultimate demise took yet another short cut. Chris set up his patented swamp cooler (two fans blowing over a cooler full of ice) taking some of the edge off a brutally hot night. The conversation sauntered at a leisurely pace as we discussed all topics small and banal. The value of the conversation relying more on the camaraderie than the content. As I was about to start into my second four finger pour, the honorific chairmanship of the discussion rotated to me. Seeing how the group consisted entirely of members of the Whiskey Swilling Cigar Chomping Football Society (and Glee Club) I decided to bring up some very important recent college football information. No, not the new playoff (though it was discussed at length). Much more important than that. It was the news that Erin Andrews will be moving from ESPN to Fox (a now rather appropriate network name). The move will have a definite impact on the choice of TV viewing during the upcoming season. People couldn't wait to get in their first bets of the season Well – actually 4 months and 1 week. But I figured that I would get some of the latest info out there rather than wait a week. There were about 100 time and broadcast updates last week (all of which I have updated, of course). But the more interesting stuff came out yesterday! The Golden Nugget released opening lines for 111 of the biggest games of the year. Despite the sweltering Las Vegas summer heat, hundreds of my fellow football degenerates lined up to make their first bets of the year. The rules were somewhat draconian. You could make up to three bets for $1,000 each and then had to go to the back of the line 50 deep. It took hours for all the early bets to be made and with it a few lines actually moved. And it appears that the public is into their second barrel of the Michigan Kool-Aid. The line for their opener against the defending champs – Alabama was pushed down from Bama -12.5 to -10. Hate to say it but I may be rolling tide over Labor Day. But the biggest surprise line (to me at least) is the GO JUMBO line of Michigan -6 vs MSU. Are you kidding?? If that line holds I’ll be swearing off the points and going straight to the money line. At that kind of spread the money line should be around +200 (bet $100 win $200). Some other interesting GO JUMBO weekend spreads are Texas -11.0 versus Baylor. Still liking that this is a revenge match for the Longhorns at home. Baylor has a lot of retooling to do this year. The Ladies enjoyed the fine comforts of Bruce's home College Football is only 3 months away!! I spent the Memorial Day weekend remembering our heroes and partying with the gang and their graduating seniors. Bruce had a great party for his son. The menfolk stayed mainly outside smoking some fine cigars while the women stayed to themselves discussing our various faults. By the time it was done I could see the cows coming home in the distance. And Dan had another party to christen the latest addition to the Scallywag Slats including a gazebo and decorative LED lights. It was a stone groove man! Our Las Vegas Hotel came out with the Win total lines for the NFL. Last year Pat and I cleaned up on the Lions and Spartans. This year the lines are 2012 2011 Record Over Under Wins Team W L B/(W) 110 -130 6.5 Arizona 8 8 -1.5 -130 110 9.0 Atlanta 10 6 -1.0 110 -130 10.0 Baltimore 12 4 -2.0 110 -130 7.5 Buffalo 6 10 1.5 -120 Even 7.5 Carolina 6 10 1.5 -110 -110 9.0 Chicago 8 8 1.0 -110 -110 8.0 Cincinnati 9 7 -1.0 -120 Even 4.5 Cleveland 4 12 0.5 -140 120 8.5 Dallas 8 8 0.5 -150 130 8.5 Denver 8 8 0.5 -120 Even 9.0 Detroit 10 6 -1.0 -120 Even 12.0 Green Bay 15 1 -3.0 -145 125 9.5 Houston 10 6 -0.5 -130 110 5.0 Indianapolis 2 14 3.0 120 -140 5.0 Jacksonville 5 11 0.0 110 -130 8.0 Kansas City 7 9 1.0 Even -120 7.5 Miami 6 10 1.5 Even -120 6.0 Minnesota 3 13 3.0 Even -120 12.5 New England 13 3 -0.5 -110 -110 9.5 New Orleans 13 3 -3.5 -130 110 8.5 NY Giants 9 7 -0.5 -145 125 8.5 NY Jets 8 8 0.5 130 -150 7.5 Oakland 8 8 -0.5 -120 Even 10.5 Philadelphia 8 8 2.5 140 -160 10.5 Pittsburgh 12 4 -1.5 110 -130 9.0 San Diego 8 8 1.0 -140 120 9.5 San Francisco 13 3 -3.5 120 -140 7.0 Seattle 7 9 0.0 115 -135 5.5 St Louis 2 14 3.5 -155 135 5.0 Tampa Bay 4 12 1.0 115 -135 7.5 Tennessee 9 7 -1.5 Even -120 6.0 Washington 5 11 1.0 Totals 258.0 256.0 256.0 Last one out of the WAC please shut the door! The Conference realignments just won’t stop. The latest rumor is for Florida State and Clemson to leave the ACC and join the Big 12. The reason is of course more dinero. 8 million more in fact. Andy (don’t call me Merle) Haggard, chairman of the FSU Board of Trustees is spouting that number. Plus he feels that the ACC is too centered on the state of North Carolina and basketball. His is torn about leaving though. The costs of travelling to Texas, Kansas, Iowa etc would eat into the extra monies from TV. And he says that the ACC has better academics. Yeah – like that is important to FSU. Real hang up is the estimated $20-25 million break up fee. Stay tuned. Meanwhile, the WAC is on its deathbed. Hawaii, Nevada, Fresno State, Utah State and San Jose State are all bolting for the Mountain West while Louisiana Tech heads for Conference USA. The two new members from Div 1AA, UT San Antonio and Texas State are leaving after one year. UTSA will also head to CUSA . Texas State figures the grass to be greener in the Sun Belt. That leaves just two schools – those power houses New Mexico State and Idaho. In what could be the ultimate slap to the face, Idaho is considering dropping down to Div 1AA rather than stay in the WAC. Two Div 1AA schools bolt after one year and another school would rather be in Div 1AA that be in your conference. Good job commissioner Jeff “the Turd” Hurd! The NCAA better get a handle on this constant conference realignment or the politicians will….. Ugh Your husband is over in the LVH Sports Book A couple of weeks ago all the Div 1A teams announced their schedules. The holdouts were the Big East and MAC when Temple made a last minute move from the MAC to the Big Least. So now the complete schedule for every week including the all important week 8 (Saturday October 20) are out. But first, a recap of all the moves in the world of Div 1A college football. The biggest were the additions of Missouri and Texas A&M to the SEC (ending one of the best rivalries in college football – the Turkey Day treat of Texas versus Texas A&M). The Big 12, in a move to stay relevant added TCU (from the Mountain West) and West Virginia (Big East). The Big East was now in a world of hurt as it now had lost one of it best football programs and was going to lose Syracuse and Pitt to the ACC in 2013. So they went on a real acquisition spree adding Temple this year - who they kicked out of the Big East after the 2004 season – plus Central Florida, Memphis, Houston and SMU from CUSA in 2013, and Boise State and San Diego State from the Mountain West in 2013 as well as Navy in 2015. The Mountain West retaliated by stealing Boise State (apparently as a one year loaner), Nevada, Hawaii and Fresno State from the WAC. The WAC was then forced to drop down to Div 1AA promoting Texas State and Texas San Antonio to the big time – sort of. Also promoted to Div 1A this year are South Alabama to the Sun Belt and Massachusetts to the MAC. And to top it all off – there are strong indications that the CUSA and MWC conferences will merge after 2013. Whew! Lots of moving pieces and I don’t think they are done yet. Don’t be surprised if the Big 10 makes a move after this year. I took the football watching on the road for the Championship games - travelling to my Aunt Betty's to meet up with the Mother of all Doofusses and cousin Robin. Robin made enough appetizers to feed a Canadian logging camp while at the same time keeping our glasses topped off with Captain and Cokes. Her catering experience came in real handy and was well received. I Meanwhile Aunt Betty’s roving pack of 6 large hunting dogs (down from her career average of 13.8) were very happy to see someone new – always wanting to watch the game on your lap while being petted. Unable to watch the action – it was a couple of ear scratches and then on the floor with you. As we steered the pack away from the TV we were able to watch a couple of great games. I went 1-1 again with my Mega Bets as: Baltimore @ New England over 50.5 – I taught the Mom what an over and under was. She really got into betting the over. Whoever has the ball – that’s who you go for. No need to pick a team. Just get into the end zone. We were having a blast as the Patriots and Ravens traded punches – putting up 33 points in the second and third quarter. Craig James reacts to the Washington State hire Football takes a hiatus and goes to the Pro Bowl - but who really cares? What is interesting is the Coaching Carousel is taking its final turns Below are all the changes (click on read more) - who got fired, who got hired and a little Doofus commentary GO JUMBO Oct 20 2012!! I don't F*&%ing believe it - the Pats are playing defense Dan invited us over to the Scaliwag Slats Sunday. Unable to get a flat screen from Costco (the one he was eyeing was only available on line) - he pulled out an old relic of a TV - started a great fire using left over materials from his many home projects and then served up some nice snacks and adult beverages. We all scooted back in our chairs - peered though the flames and settled in for a fine afternoon of NFL football. Dobbie accidentally opened up a 21 year old scotch (I think he was saving it for a better crowd). As we hurriedly finished it off I watched as my Mega Bets went 1-1 with: Denver +13.5 @ New England – Man, Tom Brady must hate Tim Tebow. He just seems to get fired up when he comes to town. I guess he must figure he is really God's favorite. And what was up with the Pats defense? They played out of their minds! Brady, Belichick and the boys scored 2 TDs late in the second quarter to get up 35-7 at the half as the buried the Broncos 45-10 LOSS The Doofus deck was no where to be during a lightning storm I invited the Whiskey Swilling Cigar Chomping Football Society and Glee Club over to watch the Lions on Saturday. A huge thunderstorm broke out just before kick off. Braving the elements (we were sitting outside in a steel cage of a gazebo covered by nylon with electronics plugged in) we saw the Lions get destroyed 45-28. How bad were the Lions – the Saints had zero punts for the game. Oh well, at least the whiskey swilling and cigar chomping went off well. With the Lion playing defense like a WAC school there was little to celebrate and the glee club stood mute. But at least the Mega Bets kept its winning streak intact as: Week 19 Mega Bets Recap: Denver +8.5 vs Pittsburgh – That was easy! After holding the Steelers to 2 field goals in the first quarter, the Broncos exploded for 20 points in the second quarter. Up 14 points and getting 8.5 made the half time meal go down real easy. Pittsburgh came back to tie it with 3 minutes left in the game. I figured the only way Denver could blow the spread is if Pittsburgh scored a FG on the first possession and then did a pick six under the new overtime rules (which allow a team a possession if the other team scores a FG on its first possession). The point became moot when Denver won the toss and elected to receive. Now they could only lose by a max of 6 points. The point became really moot when the Broncos scored on the first play causing the shortest OT in NFL history. Final score Tebows 29 Rburgers 23 WIN |
AuthorThe Doofus. Archives
October 2012
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